OZARK DUMPING


No sooner had I wrote the story telling you all how well my 1999 has gone, appartantly I wasn't done yet.Paul xxxx and I had been talking about a dump trip sincelate summer. I told him as soon as my son's fall sports
were over I would have some free weekend time. Well one thing lead to another and we had planned the week in between Christmas and New Years since I was off during that duration. Paul suggested that this may be the last dumping trip of the Millennium! We initially planned ondumping North of Kansas City but figured the Lake of the Ozarks would be our best bet for success. Paul had invited fellow RBers Bob xxxx and Andy xxxxx TheLake of the Ozarks is in the middle of the state between St Louis ( where Paul , Bob and Andy reside) and Kansas City ( where I live).

A better day couldn't have been picked as far as weather was concerned. Here it isDecember 28 and no snow on the ground and the temperature above freezing! It wouldlater warm up into the 50s. Bob and Andy were to meet us at the lake around noon, soPaul and I were on our own until then. Paul and I had made arrangements to meet at a
restaurant for breakfast in Ozark country and that way we could go over the maps andsuch to pick a good spot. The night before Bob had sent Paul through email some"cheats sheets". It was a piece of paper that had listed places he had been and others that warranted further investigation. Paul had this cool 1930s Lake of the Ozark resort
guide that listed amenities at the resort cabins. Paul handed me the map and asked mewhere I wanted to start. I looked it over carefully and decided Purvis Beach looked asgood as any. The area we were about to enter into has been heavily dumped before butas Bob likes to say , "it has been heavily dumped because there's lots of dumps in it, so
keep at it.

We finished our stick to our ribs breakfast, dropped my truck off and Paul and I rodetogether to the lake. I saw a two track and decided maybe we should start there. Paul had brought walkie talkies. That enabled us to split up and cover more ground. After about 30 minutes we decided there was nothing on that side of the road and crossed to do the lake side. Again we split up and it wasn't long before Paul called me he found a small pile of 30s cans. He said he could see some gold Buds ,silver Pabst and some fifties cans. Trouble was I couldn't find where he was. So he says, "Ok Ill yell and you follow my voice" Well that worked fine as I soon knew I was walking in the wrong direction away from him. But unfortunately someone else heard him too. The landowner came by and gave Paul a look like he was going to kick his ass. Paul told him what he was looking for but to no avail.

The guy escorted him off the property. About that time I was walking up and said,"HOWDY" to this fellow and he responded back ,"GET THE F-CK OFF MY PROPERTY!!!!!" nice cheerful gent he was .Actually he looked like a goon from AMERICAS MOST WANTED. Paul wasn't worried too much because by the time the guy saw him he was walking well away from the dump. We decided that maybe we should leave the since the guy might call the sheriff. It was a definite bummer but we planned to comeback later in the day.

We then looked at the topo maps again and picked a different area away from his place.We drove about 15 miles down the road over to another heavily dumped area but it hadyielded some great brands in previous years. Again we split up , Paul taking the left side of the road and me the right side. This area was very step and hilly. I called Paul over as I was finding piles of rust all over the place. The stuff was mostly surface cans but therewere a lot of cones and low pros in there too. I hit a vein that had some color , pulling out white Stag cones and some red Country club cones. Paul called me down to where he was as he had some IRTP stuff. I pulled out an IRTP Hyde Park . I didn't have this can so that was a good thing. There were also IRTP Schlitz and Greisiediecks thrown in the mix too. It was getting close to the time we were to meet Andy and Bob so we would head back and take them to this place later.

Bob and Andy met us at the designated time and place. They showed us some Kroysons they dumped on the way here which looked like they would clean up pretty good. Paul had told them about the spot where we got thrown out. They seemed kind of excited to go check it out since it contained 30's cans. So off we went. Since the dump was located between two roads we parked the opposite side from Mr. Goon and you've never seen 4 men disappear into the woods so quickly! We found the dump rapidly and it didn't look like much. We had to do our best Elmer Fudd impressions and be veer ry ver vry quiet. We started pulling out Buds OIs and then I handed Andy a can and said, "what the hell is this?" , he rubbed some dirt off and said "ilsener??" Bob looked at it and said "NO its a LUBECK OI!!!:. We all collectively crapped in our drawers!!!!! HOLY COW!!!! In all their years of dumping at this lake ,they never found this brand in opening instruction type! Not only OI but the Toledo, Ohio mandatory! I thenpulled out another and another and then some more. Everyone started finding cans right away, as it was predominantly BEER CANS!!! The main can was Bud OI as there may have been over 200 of them and the condition was great. They are like the black Acme cans as paint on them can withstand a nuclear strike. We all pulled out Best Exports OIs,Best Hapsburg OIs and Manhattans. After the first four Lubecks I suggested that Paul take the booty and secure it in the truck. We didn't want Mr. Goon to reappear and not have at least what we uncovered already. Every time Paul came back we had more for him. After about 4 trips he got tired!

I had to ask Andy if we were dreaming! He said , "No ,I've already pinched myself numerous times to make sure". We all starting finding more cans with new brands thrown in like Drewerys OI, Pabst OI,and cones such as the green Country Clubs ,green Muelhebach cones,and Greisedieck bros crowns. The cones were found further up the trench. Andy and I were in the middle and Bob was bringing up the rear

Paul was getting ina fight with some barbed wire which had cones underneath it. I had the glory hole as I was pulling out Lubeck after Lubeck. Then I hit a dry spell and Andy suggested I go deeper. So I lifted up my knee and Whammo! another Lubeck, this one was wash the mud off condition! This dump had the ABC's of dumping...Age , Brand and Condition. There's nothing like digging a trench full of OIs! Its cool to remove a bottle or some other trash and you see 3 or 4 more cans exposed!! Bob tried his hand at the barbed wire disposal and uncovered Bou-cou Blatz high profile cones. By the time we were through we had a 20 foot long trench , 3feet wide and 2-3 feet deep. We then raked it all out and metal detected it to make sure there wasn't anything left since we may not be able to make it back with the GOON still running around. We found so many cans we ran out of boxes. Bob and I resorted to carrying the cans out on newspaper. We had to restrain from doing the dump dance because of the possibility of being thrown out a second time. But we sure all felt like doing the snoopy dance!

After about 3 hours we packed it all out and headed for the only grocery store for some grub. I had some brew with me and we had our celebratory beers. I asked these guys, " is Ozark dumping always this easy?" We never did go back to the place where we were pulling out the 40-50s cans but who would after digging OI's? We will return there another day. We then bought a large bag of Doritos and a jar of cheese dip which was polished off in minutes. There was still daylight left but we decided we couldn't top this unless the Swedish bikini team parachuted down to us. Guess who pulls up and parks in front of Paul's truck? That's right ,the Goonmeister, I didn't think he recognized Paul since he had his jacket and hat off. I didn't notice him until he pulled off.

So all in all "who could have thunk it?". We were hoping for a successful trip but WOW the mother load. Maybe it was fate that stepped in and had the landowner chase us off so Andy and Bob could join us later. Or maybe had we not been chased off and starting digging the dump only to be chased off then would have been disastrous. This way we realized the jeopardy about being discovered and went about it as stealthy as we could. Andy said that this may well been the best dump discovered in the Ozarks. Paul and Bob concurred. Considering all the great cans unearthed in the Ozarks that's quite a statement. It certainly was close to being my best
dump and what a way to finish of the year!

aaaaaaaaaaaaiii